“Hi baby, I’ve Missed You”


My phone rings, it’s about 4:00am, here in Poland, On May 26th. I blindly reach in the direction of the sound, not awake to realize what this could be.

As my eyes adjust from the blurriness of sleep, I see my dads name on the screen. I pressed the green button, “click” we’re connected.

We have been waiting for a call. Hoping it wasn’t going to be this one, at this time. My dad was at the airport boarding his plane to meet my mother and I across the world. We didn’t know for sure if this was the best idea knowing what was going on, but God has been weighing on our hearts saying to be still. So we did.

My papa, 91 years old, was sent to the hospital the beginning of May, for multiple infections, which then dreadfully turned into pneumonia. He was struggling. But before my mom and I left for our mission trip to Poland, we saw him and his condition improved so much. As I kissed him on the cheek, said I love you and walked out of the hospital door…I didn’t seem to think that this could be the last time.

My dad’s voice fills my ear with words I can’t yet comprehend. I think I asked him to repeat himself about three times. “He’s gone.”, “Papa has passed away.”, “He just took his last breath.”.

As my eyes fill with tears, the world around seems to disappear. I knew this was coming. I knew it was his time. I just wasn’t quire ready myself.

My mom and I FaceTimed my aunt who was by my Papa’s side. My Grandma’s face comes in clear over the phone, with pure anguish in her eyes. My heart breaks just a little more, knowing I can’t wrap my arms around her in this moment she lost her love.

My Papa was a hard man. But a loving man, too. Each and every time I saw him, he reached to give me a kiss on my cheek: “Hi baby, I’ve missed you.” as I wrapped my arms around him. I will miss his sweet kisses the most.

It’s a strange feeling knowing you are no longer on this earth. But yet, I have a peace in my heart knowing you are somewhere much, much better. You will always be loved and missed, Papa. I can’t for you to greet me in heaven with a kiss on the cheek saying “Hi baby, I’ve missed you.”


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